As Joey Graziadei headed up north to Canada on Monday’s episode of The Bachelor, his heart felt a little frigid.
“I know I should be feeling great, but I’m really struggling,” Joey, 28, admitted.
The tennis pro admitted he felt himself “holding back.”
“I think the fear comes from me being scared that this isn’t going to end up working out for some reason,” he said. “I don’t know why I hold onto that so much, but the last time I really opened up, I was with Charity. I left heartbroken. I felt so lost after that.”
Jesse Palmer.Jan Thijs/Disney
Host and Canada native Jesse Palmer welcomed Joey’s remaining 10 women to Montreal and showed off his French. The new dad, 45, informed the ladies that there would be one group date and two one-on-one dates, starting with the group date.
GROUP DATEDaisy, Katelyn, Kelsey A., Jenn, Rachel, Lexi, Lea and Jess ended up on the group date, which left Kelsey T. and Maria on the one-on-ones.
“Today a lot of emotions hit just because I’m finding out more and more how hard it is for me to express my feelings,” Joey told the women at the beginning of the date. “And it just scares me. But I still really want to be intentional with our time.”
Joey and the eight ladies proceeded to take a tour of Jesse’s top spots in Montreal, including a stop at his favorite restaurant Le Garde-Manger, where they created their own poutine.
Some of the women would’ve preferred a solo date with Joey.
“The energy’s a little weird because it feels like there’s a million girls trying to vie for his attention,” Kelsey A., 25, said an interview. “At one point I think we were dancing around Joey. It felt very cult-y. I would say this is probably my least favorite date I’ve been on just because it’s very difficult to navigate.”
Katelyn shared a similar sentiment with Kelsey A. “This group date, this is the hardest one,” said the radiochemist, 25.
Jess felt the same way. “In group settings, I feel forgotten,” confessed the executive assistant, 24.
'The Bachelor' season 28 contestant Jess.Richard Middlesworth/Disney
At the after party, Katelyn got teary-eyed talking about the struggle of the group date.
“I feel like it’s really hard for me to see, like, your connection with everyone else,” she told Joey. “I guess that, coupled with no one-on-one, is tough.”
Kelsey A. talked to Joey about feeling like “I’m just, like, background” on group dates, but she also told him, “I definitely feel like I’m falling for you.”
Lexi, 30, proceeded to ask Joey about his timeline for getting married and having kids.
“In my head, it’s like a two- to three-year engagement, somewhere in that sense,” he explained. “I did always imagine having a couple years of marriage before I thought of settling down with kids because I also want to enjoy the marriage before we bring someone else into it.”
Joey’s conversations turned back to women telling him they were falling for him, with Jenn and Jess both expressing as much to him. When he heard it from Jenn, Joey told the cameras, “I don’t feel like I’m fully ready to say it, but I feel like I’m getting closer.”
'The Bachelor' season 28 contestant Jenn.Richard Middlesworth/Disney
But after Jess told him how she felt, Joey responded by telling her he didn’t see a future with her.
“I just haven’t been able to get there,” Joey confessed to Jess. “And I know that’s not easy to hear. I have to be honest through this and because you deserve that. I think you are unbelievable. I think you deserve the world. I just don’t think it’s right to keep you here.”
Joey felt downtrodden as he walked her out. “I just hurt someone who I do care about,” the Philadelphia native admitted.
Before the date could end, he gave Jenn a rose.
Joey took Kelsey T., 31, to train to be part of Cirque du Soleil. But the flips, twists and turns didn’t sit right with him.
“I’m going to get sick. Just not feeling great with the dizziness,” he said.
When the trainer asked Joey and Kelsey T. if they needed water, he replied, “I feel like I need Dramamine.”
'The Bachelor' season 28 contestant Kelsey T.Richard Middlesworth/Disney
Sitting down with Kelsey T. after their spin session helped ground him. “I want you to know how much I have been enjoying it,” he told the actress. “It’s hard for me to like show it right because I don’t feel 100 percent, but I’m already feeling better just sitting next to you.”
Later over dinner, Kelsey T. opened up to Joey about having a strained relationship with her dad over their disagreements about religion.
“He wanted me to focus on that and he wanted me to be in that, but in my heart, I knew it wasn't what I wanted to be,” Kelsey T. said to Joey. “And because I chose to go to college, he didn’t support that decision at all. Anyone who was to be in his household has to be into religion and so I wasn't allowed to be there any more. And that hurt.”
Kelsey T. said her fractured relationship with her dad “messed with me so bad” and “affected the way I trust in relationships.”
Joey understood. “You have every reason to have those trust issues,” he said to Kelsey T.
Kelsey T. said she reconnected with her father in recent years. “It’s nice, but it’s also very hard because he still missed a lot,” she shared.
Joey rewarded Kelsey T.’s honest confession with a rose. “I do believe she can be a great wife, and I’m excited to see what the future holds,” he affirmed.
For his date with Maria, Joey picked her up in a limo and took her shopping for a gown at Claudette Floyd boutique. They followed that up with a helicopter ride that included some champagne.
“Today was just so special and he made me feel so beautiful,” Maria, 29, said in an interview.
'The Bachelor' season 28 contestant Maria.Richard Middlesworth/Disney
During the evening portion of their date, Maria told Joey she had previously been in a relationship that almost led to an engagement.
“I just want someone to say what they want and mean it,” Maria said.
Joey disclosed, “The idea of this not working out scares the living s--- out of me.”
Maria shared that she could see a future with Joey. “I feel so happy when I’m with you,” the executive assistant told Joey. “I love every moment I’m with you. I’m falling for you in ways that I didn’t expect.”
They kissed and then attended a private concert.
“I can see a future with Maria,” Joey told the cameras.
The Bachelor ended his night with Maria by giving her a rose. “Tonight makes me feel good,” Joey said. “This is working. I can let go of the worries. I know I’m going to find my wife.”
Before the cocktail party, Lexi came to find Joey in his hotel room because “I have a pit in my stomach,” she said.
When she sat down with Joey, Lexi said she’d been mulling over his response to her question about his timeline for marriage and kids.
“I know that you want more of a long engagement and you want after to take some time before kids — sorry I don’t mean to get emotional,” she began, “but that’s just not something I have the privilege to do right now with my health situation.”
'The Bachelor' season 28 contestant Lexi.Richard Middlesworth/Disney
Lexi said she felt “so heard” and “respected” during their one-on-one in Malta, but, “as someone who has infertility, I have to take that really seriously as I date.”
As a result, the digital strategist, who previously opened up about being diagnosed with endometriosis, decided it would be “unfair” to stick around.
“I hate this,” Joey said. “This isn’t what I had in my head.”
Lexi said the situation didn’t change how she felt about Joey. But Joey told the cameras, “I feel crushed.”
Joey opened up the cocktail party by telling the women why he felt uneasy: “The root of it was what my biggest fear is: me choosing someone and it not being reciprocated.”
The speech worried some of the women, including Katelyn and Rachel, 26, who expressed as much to Joey.
“Thank you for trying to find a way to make me feel special tonight,” Joey said to Katelyn.
Daisy tried to lighten the mood by testing Joey’s foot massage skills. “I like it every night,” quipped the account executive, 25.
Jenn tried teaching Joey to play piano as the other women looked on.
“I don’t want to watch,” Rachel said to the rest of the group.
When it came time for the rose ceremony, Joey only had three roses to give out. They went to Daisy, Kelsey A. and Rachel, which meant Lea and Katelyn left.
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.
