Tom Brady Roast: Wildest Jokes About Gronk, Aaron Hernandez
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After the quarterback himself, former New England Patriots tight ends were in the hot seat at Netflix’s The Greatest Roast Of All Time: Tom Brady.
Tom Brady‘s BFF and former teammate Rob Gronkowski was present at the live event on Sunday, May 5, and was an easy target for the comedians and celebrity guests.
“ACL is the only injury Gronk can spell,” Andrew Schulz quipped at one point. While poking fun at Brady’s cryptocurrency FTX deal, Nikki Glaser brought the crowd to their feet when she joked, “Tom lost $30 million in crypto. Tom, how did you fall for that? Even Gronk was like, ‘Me know that not real money.’ … Gronk actually does bitcoin which is where he just chews on a handful of nickels.”
Glaser was one of the most cutthroat comedians of the night. “Rob Gronkowski is … not all here,” she said. “No, Rob, you’re not really as dumb as you sound, and look, and act, and are — you might be dumber. Is it true that you are the first person born with CTE? Is that real? No, Gronk, I love you, you put the downs in touchdowns. You put the special in special teams. … I’m so sorry, Rob, you haven’t caught this much heat since you were microwaved as a baby.”
Even Gronkowski’s former coach Bill Belichick took a shot at the retired player’s intelligence, saying: “Gronk, I’ve been watching you on Fox NFL Sunday. And I’m begging you, please, stop doing your job.”
Gronkowski appeared to be in good spirits throughout the special, making his own quip about how he “can’t read” off the teleprompter when doing his own set.
During the beginning of Gronkowski’s stint on the Patriots, he played alongside fellow tight end Aaron Hernandez — another topic that wasn’t off limits during Sunday’s roast.
“Everyone always asks me how big Gronk’s dick is,” wide receiver Julian Edelman said during his set. “Now don’t get me wrong, it gets the job done. But there was this other Patriots tight end. Now he was hung.” (The camera then cut to a shocked Gronk.)
In 2013, Hernandez was arrested and charged with the murder of Odin Lloyd. While on trial, he was indicted (and later acquitted) for the double homicide of Daniel de Abreu and Safiro Furtado. Shortly after he was acquitted in 2017, Hernandez was found dead in his prison cell.
Glaser also brought up Hernandez in her aforementioned set. “Give it up for zero-time Super Bowl champion Randy Moss! Why don’t you have a ring? What the hell, man, you’re one of the best ever. Drew Bledsoe has a ring. Aaron Hernandez had a ring … around his neck.”
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When Brady took the stage at the end of the special, he made his own wild quip about Hernandez.
“The bar for a Patriots tight end was pretty low back then. Block. Catch. Don’t murder,” he said.
The Greatest Roast Of All Time: Tom Brady is currently streaming on Netflix.
