Prince Harry's Memoir 'Spare': Spice Girl Meetings, Past Romances and More Royal Bombshells

10 Jan 2023

Prince Harry isn't done dropping bombshell allegations. The 38-year-old Duke of Sussex released his tell-all memoir, Spare, on Tuesday numerous excerpts were published. 

In the tell-all book, the father of two makes multiple allegations against his older brother, Prince William, William's wife, Kate Middleton, details his traumatic search to find closure surrounding the death of his mother, Princess Diana, and much more. 

In the wake of his and wife Meghan Markle's recent six-hour Netflix docuseries, Harry & Meghan, the former senior royal still manages to make surprising new claims against his family and his life within the royal family. 

ET has learned that both Buckingham Palace and Kensington Palace have, so far, refused to comment on the allegations made by Prince Harry in his forthcoming book.

Here are the biggest bombshells from Spare.

Queen Elizabeth Told Harry of Prince Philip's Death

Harry begins the book recalling how he awoke to 32 missed calls before having "one short, heart-racing talk with Grammy: Harry.... Grandpa's gone." 

The Meeting After Prince Philip's Funeral

Harry discusses meeting up with William and Charles after Philip's funeral to discuss their rift. And while he claims the conversation began with "small talk. The smallest," he adds that they soon got into it. 

"I tried to explain my side of things. I wasn't at my best... they'd come ready for a fight," he says of his brother and father. "After [William had] shut me down several times, he and I began sniping, saying some of the same things we'd said for months -- years. It got so heated that Pa raised his hands. Enough!"

Harry recalls his father saying, "Please, boys -- don't make my final years a misery." 

During their discussion after Prince Philip's funeral, Harry notes that William was upset saying he never came to him to express his concerns. 

"Since boyhood that had been Willy's position on everything," Harry writes. "I must come to him. Pointedly, directly, formally -- bend the knee. Otherwise, no aid from the Heir," Harry writes. "I wondered why I should have to ask my brother to help when my wife and I were in peril."

Harry says William once again got physical, grabbing his shirt and saying, "Listen to me, Harold." 

He says William swore on his mother's life he wanted Harry to be happy. 

"He'd gone there. He'd used the secret code, the universal password," Harry writes. "Ever since we were boys those three words were to be used only in times of extreme crisis." 

Harry says that despite the fact that it "stopped me cold," he didn't believe his brother or "fully trust" him. 

"He saw it too. He saw that we were in a place of such hurt and doubt that even those sacred words couldn't set us free," Harry writes of William. 

Harry Calls William His 'Archnemesis'

Harry refers to William as his "beloved brother and archnemesis," in the book, giving a cutting descriptor of a present-day William. 

"I took it all in: his familiar scowl, which had always been his default in dealings with me; his alarming baldness, more advanced than my own; his famous resemblance to Mummy, which was fading with time," Harry writes. "With age. In some ways he was my mirror, in some ways he was my opposite. My beloved brother, my arch nemesis, how had that happened?"

King Charles III Wanted to Give Harry a Different Name

Harry writes about Queen Victoria saying "Pa once wanted to name me after her husband. (Mummy blocked him.)," meaning Charles would have named him Albert. 

Harry Talks His Spare Title

He says the term was used throughout his life by "Pa and Mummy and Grandpa. And Even Granny." 

"I was the shadow, the support, the Plan B," he writes. "I was brought into the world in case something happened to Willy. I was summoned to provide back-up, distraction, diversion and, if necessary, a spare part. Kidney, perhaps. Blood transfusion. Speck of bone marrow. This was all made explicitly clear to me from the start of life's journey and regularly reinforced thereafter." 

Prince Charles Used to Make Jokes About Not Being Harry's Real Father

Harry makes reference to the long-standing rumor that he is not the biological son of the now-King Charles III. It has long been speculated that amid Charles and Diana's martial troubles, she had an affair with Major James Hewitt, resulting in Diana's pregnancy with Harry. 

"Pa liked telling stories, and this was one of the best in his repertoire. He’d always end with a burst of philosophizing … 'Who knows if I’m really the Prince of Wales? Who knows if I’m even your real father?'" Harry recounts. "He’d laugh and laugh, though it was a remarkably unfunny joke, given the rumor circulating just then that my actual father was one of Mummy’s former lovers: Major James Hewitt. One cause of this rumor was Major Hewitt’s flaming ginger hair, but another cause was sadism."

Harry goes on to write that Diana didn't meet Hewitt "until long after I was born." 

King Charles Shares the News of Diana's Death

Royals

Tim Graham Photo Library via Getty Images

Harry recalls being awoken by his father at Balmoral Castle the morning after Princess Diana died. 

"He sat down on the edge of the bed. He put a hand on my knee. Darling boy, Mummy's been in a car crash," Harry writes, saying he assumed that though she'd been in a crash, his mother was fine. "I remember waiting patiently for Pa to confirm that indeed Mummy was all right. And I remember him not doing that." 

Harry writes of how Charles broke the news, "There were complications. Mummy was quite badly injured and taken to the hospital, darling boy. They tried, darling boy. I'm afraid she didn't make it."

Harry says he didn't cry "not one tear" and that Charles did not hug him. He says he put his hand to Harry's knee and said "It's going to be OK." 

Harry Didn't Believe His Mother Was Dead

Princess Diana, Prince Harry, Prince William

Anwar Hussein/WireImage

Harry talks about his childhood belief that Diana had not really died, saying it lasted for years. 

"With nothing to do but roam the castle and talk to myself, a suspicion took hold, which then became a firm belief," he recalls. "This was all a trick. And for once the trek wasn't being played by the people around me, or the press, but by Mummy." 

Harry writes that he believed his mother had run away to "make a clean start" and was "playing dead." 

Harry later shares that he told William about his theory. 

"He admitted that he'd once entertained a similar theory. But, ultimately, he'd discarded it," Harry writes. 

Harry and William's Aunt Gave Them Locks of Diana's Hair

Diana's sister, Sarah McCorquodale, went with Charles to Paris to view Diana's body after her death. When she returned to Balmoral, she gave Harry and William locks of their mother's hair. 

Diana's Final Tribute Gets to Harry

Harry, who writes that he struggled to cry after his mother's death, recalls how she was buried. 

"It was reported that Mummy's hands were folded across her chest and between them was placed a photo of me and Willy, possibly the only two men who ever truly loved her. Certainly the two who loved her most," Harry writes. "For all eternity we'd be smiling at her in the darkness, and maybe it was this image, as the flag came off and the coffin descended to the bottom of the hold, that finally broke me. My body convulsed and my chin fell and I began to sob uncontrollably into my hands." 

He later writes that after this "graveside outburst" he didn't cry again throughout his youth. 

Diana's Delayed Birthday Gift

Harry recalls turning 13 days after his mother's death. His Aunt Sarah brought him Diana's final gift, saying she'd bought it prior to her death. It was an Xbox. 

Harry and Diana's Final Conversation

Harry writes that the last time his mother called on the night her crash, he'd been playing with William and their cousins. 

"I'd been short with her," he writes. "Impatient to get back to my games, I'd rushed Mummy off the phone." 

Harry Recalls Meeting the Spice Girls Shortly After His Mother's Death

Prince Harry and the Spice Girls

Mark Cuthbert/UK Press via Getty Images

Returning home for a break, Harry says his father brought him on an official trip to South Africa where he encountered the Spice Girls in the first public appearance since his mother's death. 

"Beside me was Baby Spice, wearing white plastic shoes with chunky twelve-inch platform heels. I fixated on those heels while she fixated on my cheeks," Harry writes. "She kept pinching them. So chubby! So cute! Then Posh Spice surged forward and clutched my hand. Further down the line I spied Ginger Spice, the only spice with whom I felt any connection -- a fellow ginger."

King Charles's Teddy Bear

Harry writes about Charles's struggles in boarding school, saying that his father held a teddy bear to help him get through the tough times, noting he "still owned" the bear years later. 

"Teddy went everywhere with Pa," Harry writes. "It was a pitiful object with broken arms and dangly threads, holes patched up here and there... Teddy expressed eloquently, better than Pa ever could, the essential loneliness of his childhood." 

William Told Harry to Act Like He Didn't Know Him at School

When Harry moved to Eton, his older brother wanted distance between them. 

"Willy always hated it when anyone made the mistake of thinking us a package deal," Harry writes. "He loathed it when Mummy dressed us in the same outfits... And now to attend the same school was pure murder." 

Harry's Protection

He recalls carrying an "electronic tracker and panic alarm" with him "at all times" in the event of a kidnapping. 

Diana Felt Intimidated by Harry's Nanny

Harry writes that Diana felt threatened by his nanny "Tiggy."

"Mummy saw Tiggy not as a nanny but as a rival," he writes. "It's common knowledge that Mummy suspected Tiggy was being groomed as her future replacement."  

Harry Talks About Getting Stoned

He recalls getting high at Eton school, saying he would smoke pot and watch Family Guy. 

"I felt an inexplicable bond with Stewie, prophet without honor," he writes. "I knew this was bad behavior. I knew it was wrong. My mates knew it too. We talked about it often, while stoned, how stupid we were to be wasting an Eton education." 

Harry Talks About Losing His Virginity

He calls the incident an "inglorious episode with an older woman."

"She liked horses, quite a lot, and treated me not unlike a young stallion," Harry writes. "Quick ride, after which she'd smacked my rump and sent me off to graze. Among the many things about it that were wrong: It happened in a grassy field behind a busy pub." 

Reports of Harry's Drug Use

Harry claims one tabloid editor printed a story about him doing drugs, which he insists was not true. But instead of trying to squash the story, Charles and Camilla allowed it to get out so that Charles would seem like a "harried" single father struggling with his drug-addled son. Later another editor claimed to have a photo of Harry snorting a line of cocaine and Harry insisted that was a lie. 

"Of course... I had been doing cocaine around this time," Harry writes. "At someone's country house, during a shooting weekend, I'd been offered a line, and I'd done a few more since. It wasn't much fun, and it didn't make me particularly happy, as it seemed to make everyone around me, but it did make me feel different, and that was the main goal." 

He writes that the journalist went silent after he shut down the story but that he "slithered into Clarence House, and became very good friends with Camilla and Pa."

Harry's Teenage Goals

Harry, Charles, William

Anwar Hussein/Getty Images

Harry writes that when Charles sat him down to discuss his future post-Eton, he told his father that he wanted to work at the "fondue hut" at the ski resort where Diana used to take them. 

"That fondue could change your life," he writes of the place Diana "loved."

He says he also entertained ideas of being a ski instructor, a safari guide, but after going "round and round" he landed on the Army. 

Harry's Childhood Friend Died in a Car Crash

The boy dubbed "Henners" was friends with Harry as a kid before his time in Eton. He told Harry about his dreams of becoming a teacher, but Harry is once again told the news that a loved one has died in a car crash. 

"Just like Mummy," Harry writes, recalling attending the funeral with William. "And yet, unlike Mummy, there was no way to spin this as a disappearance. This was death, no two ways about it." 

Harry's Acting Debut

He recalls performing a minor role in the Shakespeare play Much Ado About Nothing. Noting that King Charles sat front and center during her show, Harry admits to being annoyed with his father for laughing at all the wrong times. He recalls that Charles once complained that his own father, Philip, had done the exact same things. 

"I put it out of my mind and tried to focus on the good," Harry writes. "Pa is here, I told myself, and he's proud, and that's not nothing." 

Harry Recalls His First Interview 

While in Africa on his gap year, Harry gives an interview where he's asked about his mother's death, his drug addiction, and his reported romance with a "page three girl." He notes that he was shocked to be the first speaking out about Diana considering William always went before him. He says that after the interview he had "gallons of beer" and "smoked an entire shopping bag of weed." 

Harry and Chelsy

Harry and Chelsy

Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images

Harry talks about his now ex, Chelsy Davy, saying he reached out to her in Africa after having met her years prior and remembering her as being "different." 

"Unlike so many people I knew, she seemed wholly unconcerned with appearances, with propriety, with royalty," he writes. "Unlike so many girls I met, she wasn't visibly fitting herself for a crown the moment she shook my hand. She seemed immune to that common affliction sometimes called throne syndrome."

Harry recalls their first kiss "under the stars" in Africa. 

Harry Hides in the Trunk of a Car

When the paparazzi were hounding him to get photos of him coming out of pubs drunk, Harry came up with a plan. He had his bodyguard hide him in the trunk of his car as his mother, Diana, used to do to avoid being seen. 

"That's the only way I won't be tempted to have a go at them, and they won't be able to make any money out of me," Harry recalls telling his bodyguard. He compares the experience to "being in a coffin." 

William and Kate's Support of His Nazi Costume

Harry made headlines in 2005 when he was photographed wearing a Nazi uniform to a costume party. He previously called the incident one of the "biggest regrets" of his life. But Harry claims that William and Kate encouraged him to wear the getup to the "Native and Colonial"-themed gathering. 

He claims his brother and sister-in-law "howled with laughter" when they saw the look. 

“I phoned Willy and Kate, asked what they thought. Nazi uniform, they said,” Harry claims, alleging that when he went home and tried it on for them, “They both howled. Worse than Willy’s leotard outfit! Way more ridiculous! Which, again, was the point.”

Harry and William Urge Charles Not to Marry Camilla 

Royals

Anwar Hussein Collection/ROTA/WireImage

Harry claims that both he and his older brother urged their father not to marry the future Queen Consort after his affair with Camilla had marked such a difficult time in their late mother's life. 

"Despite Willy and me urging him not to, Pa was going ahead," Harry claims with regard to the April 2005 wedding. "We pumped his hand, wished him well. No hard feelings. We recognized that he was finally going to be with the woman he loved, the woman he’d always loved, the woman Fate might’ve intended for him in the first place. Whatever bitterness or sorrow we felt over the closing of another loop in Mummy’s story, we understood that it was besides the point."

As for his thoughts on his stepmother, Harry admits to being apprehensive about her joining their family. 

"I recall wondering, right before the tea, if she'd be mean to me. If she'd be like all the wicked stepmothers in storybooks. But she wasn't," he writes. "Like Willy, I did feel real gratitude for that."

Harry writes that the ceremony was delayed due to the Pope's death and he felt it might be Diana intervening from the beyond. He adds that of the wedding, he simply wished his father and Camilla would be happy. 

"Maybe she'd be less dangerous if she was happy?" he ponders, claiming Camilla had "sacrificed me on her personal PR altar." 

Harry Drove Through the Paris Tunnel Where Diana Died

Royals

David Rogers/Getty Images

Seeking closure of the tragic 1997 death of his mother, Princess Diana, Prince Harry writes he chose to drive through the same Paris tunnel where she died, going the same speed she was going at the time. 

Harry shares that the moment happened in 2007 when he attended the Rugby World Cup semifinal in Paris. 

"I watched his eyes in the rearview, growing large," Harry writes of his driver's reaction to his request, saying he wanted to go through the tunnel at 65 mph, "the exact speed Mummy's car had supposedly been driving, according to police, at the time of the crash. Not 120 miles per hour, as the press originally reported."

Harry shares his reaction to the experience, writing, "I sat back. Quietly I said: Is that all of it? It's… nothing. Just a straight tunnel. I'd always imagined the tunnel as some treacherous passageway, inherently dangerous, but it was just a short, simple, no-frills tunnel. No reason anyone should ever die inside it."

He called the decision a "very bad idea," writing, "I'd thought driving the tunnel would bring an end, or brief cessation, to the pain, the decade of unrelenting pain. Instead it brought on the start of Pain, Part Deux."

Harry Goes to War 

Harry writes that contrary to reports at the time, he and Chelsy didn't break up before he shipped off to Afghanistan. They stayed together and she promised to wait for him. He also updated his will to say that he wanted to be buried at Frogmore Gardens, writing, "It was beautiful, and slightly removed from things. Peaceful." 

As he headed into a war zone, Harry says he thought a lot about death. 

Harry and Chelsy Split

The pressure of dating a prince proved to be too much for Chelsy. She was followed everywhere by paparazzi, and a tracking device was put on her car. She tells him she couldn't handle a lifetime of being "stalked."

"I'd miss her, so much. But I completely understood her desire for freedom," Harry writes. "If I had a choice, I wouldn't want this life either." 

Harry and Caroline Flack

Noting that once again the paparazzi destroyed another one of his relationships, Harry talks about meeting and briefly dating TV presenter Caroline Flack. 

"We kept on, I think, because we genuinely enjoyed each other's company, and because we didn't want to admit defeat at the hands of these arseholes. But the relationship was tainted, irredeemably, and in time we agreed that it just wasn't worth the grief and harassment," he writes.

Later in the book, he writes about Caroline's suicide, saying, "She couldn't stand it any more, apparently. The relentless abuse at the hands of the press, year after year, had finally broken her. I felt so awful for her family. I remembered how they'd all suffered for her mortal sin of going out with me."  

William Roasts Harry in a Joint Interview

Harry recalls living with William and training to go into combat. During a rare joint interview with the brothers, Harry says that William called him out for being a "slob" and snoring." 

"I turned and gave him a look. Was he joking?" Harry ponders. 

Harry says he laughed it off at the time considering it to be "banter," but adds, "When I look back on it now, I can't help but wonder if there wasn't something else at play. I was training to get to the front line, the same place Willy had been training to get, but the Palace had scuttled his plans. The Spare, sure, let him run around a battlefield like a chicken with its head cut off, if that's what he likes. But the Heir? No."  

Harry Says William Never Told Him About His Engagement to Kate

After a trip together to Africa, Harry writes about learning that Will and Kate were engaged. 

He says his brother "never mentioned it" during their time together. 

Harry Thought He'd Be the First to Marry

Prince Harry and Kate Middleton

POOL/ Tim Graham Picture Library/Getty Images

After William and Kate got engaged, Harry admits to being forced to think about his "singlehood" more. 

"I'd always assumed I'd be the first to be married, because I'd wanted it so badly," he writes. I'd always assumed that I'd be a young husband, a young father, because I'd resolved not to become my father." 

Harry Notes That He Wasn't Really William's Best Man

Though he was "officially" noted as William's best man, Harry claims William actually considered two other friends as his best men. The second-born says his older brother didn't want to give him the opportunity to give a speech at his wedding to Kate. 

“He didn’t think it safe to hand me a live mic and put me in a position to go off script. I might say something wildly inappropriate," Harry writes. "He wasn’t wrong.”

Harry Talks About His "Nether Regions"

After returning from an excursion to the North Pole in time to attend William and Kate's royal wedding, Harry notes that his ears and cheeks were frostbitten as were his "nether regions." 

"My penis was a matter of public record, and indeed some public curiosity. The press had written about it extensively. There were countless stories in books and papers (even The New York Times) about Willy and me not being circumcised. Mummy had forbidden it, they all said, and while it's absolutely true that the change of getting penile frostbite is much greater if you're not circumcised all the stories were false. I was snipped as a baby."

Harry Felt William's 2011 Wedding to Kate Marked the Loss of His Brother 

William's Royal Wedding to Kate

rota/ Anwar Hussein/Getty Images

Harry laments what he felt was the loss of his older brother when he tied the knot with Kate in 2011. 

"The brother I’d escorted into Westminster Abbey that morning was gone — forever. Who could deny it?" he writes. "He’d never again be first and foremost Willy. We’d never again ride together across the Lesotho countryside with capes blowing behind us. We’d never again share a horsey-smelling cottage while learning to fly. Who shall separate us? Life, that’s who."

He says that the "ceremony is mostly blank in my mind" but writes that Kate looked "incredible." 

“I recall Willy walking her back up the aisle, and as they disappeared through the door, into the carriage that would convey them to Buckingham Palace, into the eternal partnership they’d pledged, I recall thinking: Goodbye,” he writes.

Harry Gushes Over Kate

"I loved my new sister-in-law, I felt she was more sister than in-law, the sister I'd never had and always wanted, and I was pleased that she'd forever be standing by Willy's side," Harry writes. "They made each other visibly happy, and therefore I was happy too." 

Harry Admits to Feeling Jealous About Chelsy Ahead of New Romance

Harry notes that he and his ex Chelsy were not in regular communication and William made sure it was ok with his brother to invite her to the wedding. Harry gave him the go-ahead but documents that seeing his ex at the soiree was difficult. 

"There were loads of feelings still there, feelings I'd suppressed, feelings I hadn't suspected," he writes. "Jealousy got the better of me that night, and I told her so, which made me feel worse. And a bit pathetic." 

Harry and Florence

Harry writes about his romance with Florence Brudenell-Bruce, saying, "Over that first cup of Earl Grey, I was asking myself: Could she be my person? The connection was that strong. But I was also that mad." 

But he says that once their relationship was leaked to the press, the attention proved too much for her as well and she ended things, refusing to meet with him again. 

Harry and Cressida

Cressida Bonas and Prince Harry

Karwai Tang/WireImage

Of his romance with actress Cressida Bonas, Harry writes about his cousin introducing them. He recalls their first kiss as being "painfully awkward." However Cressida was up for giving it another try, but soon after they started dating, Harry went to war. By the time they were photographed together in 2014, they'd been secretly dating for two years. 

King Charles' Reaction to Harry Nude Vegas Pictures

After Harry was photographed playing strip pool, he says his father was surprisingly understanding. 

"To my surprise, to my relief, he was gentled. Even bemused," Harry writes. "He felt for me, he said, he'd been there, though he'd never been naked on a front page." 

William Is Upset By Harry's Pitch

In 2013, Harry pitched his own version of the Warrior Games which would include wounded veterans participating in Paralympic games. He says that William, who was about to welcome his son George at the time was "sorely irritated" by Harry's pitch. 

"What was going on here? I wondered. Then I realized: My God, sibling rivalry," Harry writes. "Had we not got past this yet? The whole Heir versus Spare thing?" 

Harry's Panic Attacks

Harry writes about struggling with public appearances, noting that his panic attacks would start as soon as he put on his suit. 

"Soon it wasn't merely public appearances, but all public venues. All crowds. I came to fear simply being around other human beings," he writes. "More than anything else I feared cameras. I'd never liked cameras, of curse, but now I couldn't abide them." 

Harry Loved Friends, Considers Himself a Chandler

When struggling with anxiety, Harry says he binge watched 24 and Friends, noting he thinks he watched every episode of the sitcom in 2013. 

"I decided I was a Chandler," he writes. 

Growing Distance Between Harry and William and Kate

Though he writes that he was "delighted" for the couple after they welcomed their son, Prince George, Harry also talks about further distance between them. Though Harry moved into Nottingham Cottage very close to his brother and sister-in-law, they did not have the casual hangouts he'd envisioned. 

"I assumed they'd have me over any minute now. Any day," he writes. "But day after day it didn't happen." 

Cressida's Question

Prince Harry and Cressida Bonas

Chris Lee - RFU/The RFU Collection via Getty Imagesges

Harry recalls his then-girlfriend, Cressida, asking him about Diana and notes that his answer caused him to cry. 

"Wiping my eyes, I thanked her," he writes. "She was the first person to help me across that barrier, to help me unleash the tears. It was cathartic, it accelerated our bond, and again added an element rare in past relationships: immense gratitude. I was indebted to Cress."

Despite this, he says after returning from the ski holiday where she asked the question, he "realized that we weren't a match." 

"I just knew. Cress, I think, knew as well," he writes. "There was massive affection, deep and abiding loyalty -- but not love everlasting." 

Harry says he drove to her house and broke up with her, causing her to cry.

"Damn, I thought. She helped me cry. And now I'm leaving her in tears," he writes. 

Harry Tries Psychedelics

After suffering from multiple panic attacks, Harry says he turned to meditation and psychedelics for help. 

"Psychedelics did me some good as well," he writes. "I'd experimented with them over the years, for fun, but now I'd begun to use them therapeutically, medicinally. They didn't simply allow me to escape reality for a while, they let me redefine reality." 

William Stood in His Way

While talking about wanting to go to Africa for conservation work, Harry alleges that William stood in his way. 

"Africa was his thing, he said," Harry claims. "And he had the right to say this, or felt he did, because he was the Heir. It was ever in his power to veto my thing, and he had every intention of exercising, even flexing, that veto power. We had some real rows about it... It was so obvious. He cared less about finding his purpose or passion than about winning his lifelong competition with me." 

Harry Meets Courteney Cox

Amid his longtime obsession with Friends, Harry recalls meeting Courteney Cox and crashing at her Los Angeles home. 

"She was Monica. And I was Chandler. I wondered if I'd ever work up the courage to tell her," he writes. "Was there enough tequila in California to get me that brave?"

Harry Takes Mushroom Chocolates

Harry writes about attending a party where he met the voice of the Batman LEGO Movie, Will Arnett. Harry says he drunkenly forced Arnett to "do the voice," and after he obliged, Harry claims he then offered Harry and his friend diamond mushroom chocolates, choosing not to partake himself. The trip caused him to see a talking trashcan. 

Harry First Sees Meghan

Meghan Markle snapchat

Netflix

Harry recalls seeing his future wife for the first time when she was goofing off on social media with his friend, Violet. 

"This woman with Violet... my God," he writes. "For thirty-two years I'd watched a conveyor-belt of faces pass by and only a handful ever made me look twice. This woman stopped the conveyor belt. This woman smashed the conveyor-belt to bits." 

Harry's Sexy Run-In at Soho House

After their romantic getaway to Botswana, Harry writes that he snuck into Soho House to see Meghan. 

"Her arms were reaching for me. She pulled me inside and thanked her friend in one fluid motion, then slammed the door quickly before anyone saw," he writes of Meghan. "I want to say we hung a Do Not Disturb sign on the door. But I don't think there was time." 

He adds that the next morning, he hid under the covers of their bed while room service was delivered. 

"Meg whispered to go into the bathroom but I preferred my hiding place," he writes. 

The breakfast was delivered by the hotel assistant manager, who stayed for a chat with Meghan. 

"He didn't notice the price-shaped lump under the duvet," Harry quips. "He talked and talked, and caught her up on the latest, while I, in my duvet cave, started to run out of air." 

Harry Was Ready to Talk Love on Date 4

Meghan and Harry had over his cousin, Princess Eugenie, for dinner at Nottingham Cottage for their fourth date. After having some tequila, Harry thought Meghan was a "lightweight" after she said she didn't feel well. But, it turns out, she'd had food poisoning from a prior meal. He held her hair back while she threw up and she expressed embarrassment over the exchange. 

"Stop, I said. Taking care of each other? That's the point," he says he told his future bride. "That's love, I thought, though I managed to keep the words inside." 

Harry Watched Suits Sex Scenes at the Start of Meghan Romance

Meghan Markle and Patrick J. Adams

Shane Mahood/USA Network

Though he'd never seen his future wife Meghan's series, Suits, prior to their romance, he says he did Google several of her sex scenes after they started dating. Harry writes that he made "the mistake of Googling and watching some of her love scenes online."

"I’d witnessed her and a castmate mauling each other in some sort of office or conference room," Harry writes. "I didn’t need to see such things live."

Harry is seemingly referring to Meghan's co-star, Patrick J. Adams, who played Meghan's on-screen love interest. 

William and Kate Were Huge Suits Fans Before Meghan Joined the Family

Harry claims that William told him to "f**k off" when he first shared that he was dating Meghan. 

"I was baffled, until Willy and Kate explained that they were regular — nay, religious — viewers of Suits," he recalls, joking that he was worried "about the wrong thing" and was not expecting them to "barrage" him with questions.

"All this time I’d thought Willy and Kate might not welcome Meg into the family, but now I had to worry about them hounding her for an autograph," Harry writes. 

He says he expressed it had "long been my dream -- to join them with an equal partner, to become a foursome." 

Queen Elizabeth Asked Meghan About Donald Trump in First Meeting

When Meghan met the queen for the first time in 2016, Harry says Her Majesty asked his future bride for her thoughts on Donald Trump. 

"Meg thought politics a no-win game, so she changed the subject to Canada," he writes. 

William's First Meeting With Meghan

Of his brother and future wife's first meeting, Harry notes that Meghan hugged William, "which completely freaked him out."

"He recoiled," Harry claims. "Willy didn't hug many strangers. Whereas Meg hugged most strangers. The moment was a classic collision of cultures, like flashlight-torch, which felt to me both funny and charming. Later, however, looking back, I wondered if it was more than that. Maybe Willy expected Meg to curtsey?" 

He adds that "Willy got over it" and later says that William told him, "Happy for you, Harold." 

Harry and Meghan's Fight

Harry recalls getting "disproportionately, sloppily angry" with Meghan during a fight at Nottingham Cottage. 

"Meg said something I took the wrong way. It was partly a cultural difference, party a language barrier, but I was also just over-sensitive that night. I thought: Why's she having a go at me?" Harry writes. "I snapped at her, spoke to her harshly -- cruelly. As the words left my mouth, I could feel everything in the room come to a stop."

He says Meghan left the room for 15 minutes and he found her in the bedroom. 

"She was calm, but said in a quiet, level tone that she would never stand for being spoken to like that." 

She added that she did not intend to raise children with someone who operated with anger and disrespect and urged Harry to seek out therapy despite him saying he'd tried it before. He later writes of his experiences in therapy. 

Harry Tells William He Thinks Diana Sent Him Meghan

On the 20th anniversary of Diana's death, Harry and William got together at the Spencer estate in Althorp, where Harry says William expressed he felt Diana was there with them. 

"I think she's been in my life, Harold. Guiding me. Setting things up for me," Harry recalls William saying. "I think she's helped me start a family. And I feel as though she's helping you now too." 

But when Harry agrees and says, "I feel as though she helped me find Meg," he claims William "took a step back."

"He looked concerned. That seemed to be taking things a bit far," Harry writes. "'Well, no Harold, I'm not sure about that. I wouldn't say THAT!'"

William's Reservations

When Harry decided to propose to Meghan, he learned he had to ask his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth's, permission according to royal law. He claims that William felt he was moving "too fast."

"In fact, he'd actually been pretty discouraging about my even dating Meg," Harry alleges of his brother.

King Charles' Unwillingness to Bankroll Meghan

Harry writes that his father warned him "there's not enough money to go around" when it came to Meghan. He explains it was Charles' "job" to financially back his children and their spouses through the Duchy of Cornwall. He claims Charles' comments had ulterior motives. 

"Pa might have dreaded the rising cost of maintaining us, but what he really couldn't stomach was someone new dominating the monarchy, grabbing the limelight, someone shiny and new coming in and overshadowing him. And Camilla. He'd lived through that before, and had no interest in living through it again," he writes. 

Queen Elizabeth's Strange Response to Harry's Request to Marry Meghan

Harry asked his grandmother's permission to marry Meghan during a shooting weekend, saying, "I have to ask your permission before I can propose," to which she allegedly replied, "Well, then, I suppose I have to say yes." 

Harry Wants to Keep His Beard

Prince Harry and Prince William

Brian Lawless - WPA Pool/Getty Images

Going against protocol, Harry asked the queen if he could keep his beard on his wedding day despite wearing his military uniform. He notes that his beard helps with his anxiety and that Meghan has never seen him without it during their time together. 

He claims William "bristled" when he learned Queen Elizabeth approved the decision. 

"You put her in an uncomfortable position, Harold! She had no choice but to say yes," Harry claims William said, adding, "Willy always thought Granny had a soft spot for me, that she indulged me while holding him to an impossibly high standard." 

He alleges William even went so far as to order him to shave it off, claiming his brother finally admitted he was so upset by it because he wasn't allowed to keep his own beard. 

"He hated the idea of me enjoying a perk he'd been denied," Harry claims. 

Clearing the Air

Harry says that William and Kate invited him and Meghan for tea "to clear the air." 

He writes, "Willy and Kate were apparently upset that we hadn't given them Easter presents," which he says he'd never done before. Harry claims they apologized and Harry notes that he and Meghan expressed they were upset the Cambridges had switched place cards at their wedding to sit apart. Harry says the couple claimed they hadn't done that and accused them of doing the same thing at Pippa Middleton's wedding. 

Kate then allegedly told Meghan she felt she was owed an apology after Meghan talked about her "baby brain" and "hormones."

"Willy pointed at Meg. It's rude, Meghan. It's not what's done here in Britain," Harry claims his brother said to his wife, to which he says she replied, "Kindly take your finger out of my face."

Calling Out False Stories

Harry writes that he and Meghan arranged a second "summit" with William and Kate about fake stories being planted about them in the press. He says Kate took responsibility for making Meghan cry during the bridal fittings despite the press reporting the opposite. But Meghan wanted to know why their office had done nothing to refute the stories. 

"Kate, flustered, didn't answer, and Willy chimed in with some very supportive-sounding evasions, but I already knew the truth," Harry claims. "No one at the Palace could phone the correspondent, because that would invite the inevitable retort: Well, if the story's wrong, what's the real story? What did happen between the two duchesses? And that door must never be opened, because it would embarrass the future queen." 

He says that William finally admitted that during a dinner with Charles and Camilla he'd "let slip that there'd been strife between the two couples," which he believes led to the leak.  

His Physical Fight With Prince William 

Harry alleges that he got into a physical fight with William in 2019 regarding Harry's wife, Meghan. He claims the altercation took place at his London home, Nottingham Cottage, after William allegedly called Meghan "difficult," "rude" and "abrasive,' which Harry felt was a "parrot[ing of] the press narrative" about his wife. 

He said that he tried to offer William a glass of water. 

"Willy, I can’t speak to you when you’re like this," Harry writes.

The excerpt alleges, "He set down the water, called me another name, then came at me. It all happened so fast. So very fast. He grabbed me by the collar, ripping my necklace, and he knocked me to the floor. I landed on the dog’s bowl, which cracked under my back, the pieces cutting into me. I lay there for a moment, dazed, then got to my feet and told him to get out."

Harry claims that William urged him to hit back, referencing fights that they had growing up. Harry said he refused to do so, prompting William to leave. He later returned, Harry says, "looking regretful, and apologized."

Harry claims William asked him not to tell Meghan about the fight, and while Harry did not immediately tell his wife, he writes that he called his therapist.

But the "scrapes and bruises" were soon noticed by Meghan, forcing Harry to tell her about the alleged attack. While he says the former Suits actress "wasn't that surprised, wasn't all that angry," she was "terribly sad."

Queen's Ornament

After Harry and Meghan relocated to California, he says Meghan bought him an ornament of the queen for Christmas. Unfortunately, toddler Archie broke the ornament. But later, Harry visits a medium who says Diana is there with them in the room and claims that Diana was there when Archie broke the ornament. 

"Your mother says she had a bit of a giggle about that," Harry claims the medium said. 

William Expresses Anger After the Oprah Interview

During their discussion after Prince Philip's funeral, Harry notes that William was upset saying he never came to him to express his concerns. 

"Since boyhood that had been Willy's position on everything," Harry writes. "I must come to him. Pointedly, directly, formally -- bend the knee. Otherwise, no aid from the Heir," Harry writes. "I wondered why I should have to ask my brother to help when my wife and I were in peril."

Harry says William once again got physical, grabbing his shirt and saying, "Listen to me, Harold." 

He says William swore on his mother's life he wanted Harry to be happy. 

"He'd gone there. He'd used the secret code, the universal password," Harry writes. "Ever since we were boys those three words were to be used only in times of extreme crisis." 

Harry says that despite the fact that it "stopped me cold," he didn't believe his brother or "fully trust" him. 

"He saw it too. He saw that we were in a place of such hurt and doubt that even those sacred words couldn't set us free," Harry writes of William. 

Harry Helped Bring Daughter Lilibet Into the World

He recalls helping to pull his second child out in a touching moment. 

"I slid my hands under the tiny back and neck," he writes. "Gently, but firmly, as I'd seen in films, I pulled our precious daughter from that world into this, and cradled her just a moment, trying to smile at her, to see her, but honestly, I couldn't see anything. I wanted to say: Hello. I wanted to say: Where have you come from? I wanted to say: Is it better there? Is it peaceful? Are you frightened? Don't be, don't be, all will be well. I'll keep you safe."

The 25th Anniversary of Diana's Death

Harry writes that he and Meghan placed flowers on Diana's grave at Althorp for the 25th anniversary of her death, marking Meghan's first time there. They made this private visit on the same trip where Harry later learned the queen had died. 

Charles Didn't Want Meghan to Come to Balmoral for Queen's Death

With the queen in poor health, Harry says Charles told him he "didn't want... her" meaning Meghan to come to Balmoral Castle. He claims his father "stammered, apologetic" and claimed that no other wives were coming. He says he never heard back from William about a flight to Scotland and got his own, but by the time he'd landed his Granny "was gone." He writes that he chose to see his grandmother's body one last time. 

He says that during the queen's funeral he and Willy "barely exchanging a word took our familiar places, set off on our familiar journey, behind yet another coffin." 

Prince Harry's memoir, Spare, was released by Penguin Random House on Tuesday, Jan. 10. 

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