Christmas Queen Mariah Carey Drops Holiday-Season Video

You better watch out; you better not cry. Photo: Mariah Carey via YouTube

Just as the clock struck midnight on October 31, wrapping up another Halloween season, the undisputed queen of Christmas herself, Mariah Carey, struck one last terrifying blow into the hearts of her quivering subjects. In her annual tradition of cutting off even a second of breathing time between Halloween and Christmas season, Carey unleashed a short clip on social media announcing “it’s time” to stream her music — er, ring in the holidays. As Morticia Addams, she tangos with a Gomez who’s getting a little too hot and bothered for her liking. She shoves him aside and chucks a knife that narrowly misses his head. Then, she dons her enchanted red-and-white Santa dress, decides to cool Gomez down a bit … and she reveals her iconic whistle note’s newest horrific ability to transmogrify mere mortal beings into the most abominable of snowmen! Gomez’s arms snap off into twisted branches, his body congeals into three stacked balls of snow, and his face is contorted into a sickening array of carrots and buttons, all while the jolly opening notes of “All I Want for Christmas Is You” mock his godless metamorphosis. Carey winks at the camera while the zombiefied Gomez dances by the Christmas tree, his googly eyes clearly begging for the sweet relief of death. Body horror has never been this catchy.

This year marks the 30th anniversary of Carey’s Merry Christmas album, which she’ll be celebrating on her “Christmas Time” U.S. tour starting November 6. Last holiday season, “All I Want for Christmas Is You” topped the Billboard “Hot 100” for the fifth year in a row, leaving any would-be pop princess usurpers trembling in her wake. The message is clear: Carey wants us all to bow down to her Merry Majesty — or else.